Friday, October 15, 2010

I see London, I see France.....

I see Favre without his pants!

Why the long face Favre?  You didn't come this far in your career by throwing in the towel.  Or wearing the towel.  Or wearing pants.  Or wearing underwear.  Don't sweat it.  For every one woman out there who does not appreciate the gift of a grainy cellular photo of your penis, there are millions of us on the internet looking for a laugh.  This was a joke, right?  It has to be, because honestly, the alternative will make me sad.  I don't want to be sad, Favre.  So, please don't tell me you were trying to seduce someone by sending genital pictures. Please don't tell me you looked in the mirror at the body of a professional athlete, and decided a stand-alone wang shot was the way to this poor woman's heart.  You're obviously hip to text slang, so you know what I mean when I say, OMG Favre, WTF?  You're being a real buzz kill right now.  Remember when Cher was doing hair care infomercials for Lori Davis?  That's how sad I am right now.

Please, let me help you, and feel free to pass this wisdom along to any of your phone wielding friends.  If a woman declines your advances, she definitely will not be swayed by creepy photos of your private parts.  It's kind of a rule.  Another rule to remember is that NO ONE is going to keep a nude photo of their celebrity stalker to themselves.  You are free to be a stalker (but it's ill advised and illegal).  You are free to be a celebrity.  You are free to broadcast your nudity to any adult who has the misfortune of being in your address book.  However, these things should NEVER be done together.

So What?  You're Famous.

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