Tuesday, March 30, 2010

This precious angel? I don't think so.

Dear Jolie,

Jeez, Johnie Depp's girlfriend is a little PARANOID isn't she?  What makes her think you would wreck her family if given an opportunity?  It's just so far fetched!  She's acting like you've earned some type of reputation.   Like elderly men start acting like preteens at the skating rink when they're with you...

Like former power house actors are reduced to baby making mutes who grow heinous facial hair to conceal their beauty when exposed to high levels of you....

Like there's some pathological pattern to your relationships...  

Okay, so you're a tad bit sketchy, but so what?  What kind of asshole makes assumptions about people based on the way they've acted over and over and over in the past?  Furthermore, I expect more from a French woman.  One would think Ms. Paradis might display some maturity in this type of situation.  I thought the French were all, "We are not puritans like the Americans.  It is just sex, don't be such prudes, just be discreet....blah...blah...blah"  I think it would be a nice gesture if you offered to adopt, or perhaps buy her children.  It's been a few months since you added to your colony, and I'm fairly certain this will smooth things over with her.

Good luck!

So What?  You're Famous.


  1. I bet if you let her buy your baby (particularly the youngest), we could guarantee that she would stop bringing children into her family.

  2. Sure it's wrong to sell babies, but I agree with you. The end would justify the means.

  3. Girl! You are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny!!! you need another post! We miss your "View"