Thursday, December 3, 2009

Welcome to the tool academy, Tiger


Tiger!

Your wife came at you with a golf club?  That’s like a Samurai getting sliced up with his own sword!  You’re lucky you were the one in the car or that hot wife of yours might have showed you her long drive.  And please stop telling everyone to respect your privacy.  When a famous athlete sleeps with, sends texts to and leaves voicemails for a reality show contestant, he is BEGGING to get busted.  Discretion is not their forte. 

So you slept with her and now she’s getting paid by tabloids with money and exposure….hmmm….this sounds a little familiar.  I know hindsight is 20/20, but wasn’t there an easier way to conduct this transaction?  Such is life, Tiger, such is life.  But, there is a silver lining.  You could star in your very own public service announcement!  Tee off with your cell phone, then look directly at the camera and say, “Celebrities Without Phones, it’s like Doctors Without Borders, only cooler”.  The world will be darker without Lohan’s tweets, but if one reality show siren is left without proof, I think we all win. 

Truly,

So What?  You're Famous.

3 comments:

  1. Somehow I think the rest of the PGA is goin'"Yeah!the heat is off us now." All sports have groupies and the press is happy to crucify Tiger, even tho they supposedly knew about this for over 2 years?I think not.

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  2. lions and tigers and bears oh my!

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