Monday, November 9, 2009

Rush Limbaugh smells like bacon, and i like that about him

Dear Rush,

That bacon smell isn’t the only thing I like about you. Personally, I don’t take anyone seriously if they don’t have jowls. How can you get your point across if you don’t have jowls to shake? Some people just don’t get you. But, that’s because they’re ugly. Jealousy brings out the worst in people!
Why am I speaking for you? You said it best, “Feminism was established so to allow unattractive women easier access to mainstream society”. Boo-yah! In your face, bitches! Why don’t you start an ugly colony in the wilderness and leave beautiful Rush to lead the foxy parade?
Little known fact about you Rush, you’re bravery has human limitations. You would have taken your hot ass overseas and stunned the Vietcong with your beauty if it weren’t for your harrowing battle with Pilonidal Disease. How could you be expected to fight in a war when you were battling an ingrown butt hair? For God’s sake, you’re only one man!
Keep up the good work, Rush. Someday everyone will realize, as I have, that you are much more than a pretty, porcine face. And best wishes on the butt hairs, that is quite an affliction!


So What?  You're Famous.

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